Climate, Not Weather - End of 2019
How can people believe in climate change when it’s snowing?
For the same reason we can be improving as people and still have bad weeks. Or, at least, that’s what I keep being told. So, why is it I believe in the science of climate change but if I have a bad week I feel like a complete failure and that I’m back to square one? Why can I wrap my head around one and not the other?
Yeah, yeah, you aren’t my therapist. Fine.
But that’s what I’m talking about here. Goals, bad weeks, and upward trends.
You guys know me. I’m a big goals guy. I’ve broken it down in previous blog posts and in episode 3.01 of the Genre Hustle (found here). If you don’t know, now you know. Daily, weekly, quarterly, yearly. I’m a psycho. At least I come by it honestly (thanks Dad).
And guess what? T’is the season for goal reckoning. These are the last few days of 2019 and I’ve got a whole year to look back on. So many goals to remember and catalogue, so much hindsight.
I will be up front. I don’t think I accomplished anywhere near 50% of the goals I set out to do in 2019. I failed to complete my rewrite of Rat, I failed to finish the first draft of my untitled sci-fi story… hell, I didn’t even title it.
But that’s life, right? We can plan and plan but things happen, things change, and we aren’t in control of nearly as much as we think we are (and nowhere near as much as we’d like to be). Setting goals for myself is something I will always do and will always push myself to accomplish, control freak that I am, but I am learning to forgive myself a little bit, too.
In fact, I should be pretty happy with how a lot of my 2019 turned out.
I should be celebrating a short story being held at a paying market and the four short stories out in other markets. I should be celebrating the draft of a fifth short story I finished. I should be celebrating the completed first draft of a new novelette. The financial and health victories I never thought I would be able to accomplish so quickly. Recognizing priorities that needed to be re-arranged and actually doing something about it.
Oh yeah, and I read 50 books this year. My goal was 24.
And yet, here I am, at the end of the year, after a couple weeks of being sick, not being able to go to the gym, and unable to write, feeling like an utter failure. I feel like I have nothing to show for my years of writing professionally. There’s no book I can hold up and point to and say, “hey, that’s mine!” And answering that dreaded question, “How’s the book coming?” makes me break out in a cold sweat.
Why do I do that to myself?
Again, A.P., this ain’t therapy.
Thankfully, I have people in my life to talk me down. Friends with worlds of experience (and therapy) whose wisdom they impart for free when I am spiraling. Friends to tell me that though the weather right now is frightful, the climate is actually delightful. You know?
The climate of my life is all upward trending. There may be stormy weather and snow and hail, but guess what? There’s been a record number of sunshiny days, too. I have to be thankful for that. I am thankful for that. And I’m thankful for the people in my life who remind me of that.
So this is me reminding you of that. Look at your overall growth, not the three bad days strung together that laid you low for a bit. Look at everything you’ve done.
Like I should.
Easier said than done, I know. You know me. Sunshine and rainbows ain’t exactly my shtick (thanks brain chemistry), so I’m not resting on my laurels and, despite my best intentions, I am beating myself up a little bit about the last year. Specifically, I am beating myself up about Rat.
That’s a story for another time, though. I’ve certainly gone on about it at length in the past. I have some decisions to make and I’m not going to get to that in the first blog post I’ve written in three months. If you were wondering, I failed my blog quarterly goals, too. You know, in case that wasn’t obvious at all.
Instead, I am going to focus on the coming year, the coming quarter, and what kind of things I can do to keep improving my overall climate. And, maybe, what I can do to weatherproof myself a little.
Life is all about climate. It’s the big picture. Don’t forget that, and I’ll try and do the same.
Have a happy new year, folks. Love each other, be kind, and especially be kind to yourselves.